This winter semester, I'm studying parts of the New Testament in the Bible as part of my religious studies at BYU-Idaho. As is customary, I was required to write up a sort of research paper in the form of a talk on any gospel topic of my choosing for the midterm. This time, I chose to write about families, entitled "Families, Why I am Who I am Today", supported with some experiences, scriptures, and quotes from past General Conference talks to meet assignment criteria. Needless to say, I aced this assignment and now I'm publishing it here:
I love my family! It is probably one of the most cliché things one can ever say amongst Latter-day Saints (and probably among much of society), but out of everything I will ever say in my lifetime, that is probably one of the truest, short statements I can ever make. However, unlike most Latter-day Saints families, I, along with a considerable chunk of the Church membership come from a part-member family; my mother, as well as her side of the family are not members. Growing up in a part-member family has made the topic of “families” that much more precious and important to me as a result. But just because I come from a part-member family doesn’t mean I’m any different from many of you. Like many of you, I found enjoyment and spiritual nourishment from the various activities and callings associated with the Church. I am who I am today because of my family, and because of the way my parents raised me. I am privileged to hold a current Temple recommend and be able to attend the Temple. I was also able to serve an honorable full-time mission. And thankfully, my non-member mother has been very supportive of me in the various activities of the Church, including my missionary service to Japan (which also happens to be the country she is from!). And I love my mother regardless!
Speaking of mothers, one of the best accounts in the New Testament that hits me the most is at the end of the Savior’s mortal life. As He is hanging upon the cross on Calvary, He sees his mother, Mary and tasked one of His disciples to care for her: “When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.” (John 19: 26-27) President Thomas S. Monson said of this account, “From that awful night when time stood still, when the earth did quake and great mountains were brought down-yes, through the annals of history, over the centuries of years and beyond the span of times, there echoes his simple yet divine words, “Behold thy mother!”” (‘Behold Thy Mother’, October 1973)
As all of you know, the gospel is centered on the family. We know from studying the missionary lessons in ‘Preach My Gospel’ that families are considered the most important social unit because they are ordained of God. President Boyd K. Packer said, “We focus on the family in the Church, and we counsel parents everywhere to raise their children in righteousness.” (‘The Key to Spiritual Protection’, October 2013) It is through the gospel that parents, through heavenly guidance, inspiration, and revelation are able to successfully raise their children, even in troubling times the world faces today. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “There is no area of parental action that is more needful of heavenly guidance or more likely to receive it than the decisions of parents in raising their children and governing their families.” (‘Love and Law’, October 2009)
Looking at myself and where I’m at in life, I think it’s safe to say I’ve turned out okay for the most part so that tells me my parents raised me right! I hope someday, I can at least be half as good as they were when I start raising my own children as a parent. I remember it wasn’t always easy as a family, considering some of the things we went through. But at the same time, we got through those hardships together as a family. I remember my dad being unemployed for a few years and I was old enough to recognize that it was a scary thing; I cannot even begin to imagine what was going through my dad’s mind during those times. I was also old enough to know that I should be supportive of my parents, especially during those tough times we endured. I especially heeded the scriptural advice found in the sixth chapter of Ephesians: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-3)
With my non-member mother, I have come to find that it’s important that our relationship be built on the grounds of mutual respect because we don’t see eye-to-eye on a lot of things. I certainly have a great deal of respect for her and her family’s Japanese culture and beliefs. I remember at the end of my mission, my family picked me up and went to my mother’s hometown to visit relatives. They took notice of my missionary name badge almost immediately and asked about it. I was completely caught off guard when my mother described to her siblings, her mother, and here nieces and nephews what an LDS missionary does and what I have been doing in Japan for two years. The best part, she described it perfectly! Elder Quentin L. Cook said, “Our leaders have consistently counseled us “to live with respect and appreciation for those not of our faith. There is so great a need for civility and mutual respect among those of differing beliefs and philosophies.”” (‘Our Father’s Plan-Big Enough for All His Children’, April 2009) So even though I come from a part-member family, I feel confident that we as a family share a strong bond in our relationship regardless. I am who I am today because of that bond we share as a result of that mutual respect for our differences.
It should be well-noted that families are important, even in ancient times. A reliable account that supports this can be found in The Book of Mormon when the righteous Nephites was at war with the wicked Lamanites: “And again, the Lord has said that: Ye shall defend your families even unto bloodshed. Therefore for this cause were the Nephites contending with the Lamanites, to defend themselves, and their families, and their lands, their country, and their rights, and their religion.” (Alma 43:47) The Nephites probably wanted to avoid going to war but were forced to do so in defense of themselves and their families. Though modern day circumstances are different compared to Book of Mormon times, that shouldn’t diminish the fact that our families are important to us.
For many, it’s important that there is quality time to be spent with family members. Families are to “live together in love.” (Doctrine and Covenants 42:45) Now, my family (both immediate and extended) is a little unorthodox when it comes to a few things and we’re okay with that. And I’ll tell you why by sharing an experience we had recently: My grandmother passed away late last year just before Thanksgiving and my parents and I drove out Eastern Idaho to be present for the funeral arrangements. This is where we Wynn’s are bit unorthodox. Some longtime family friends coming to pay their respects said to my dad, “We just walked in the door and heard laughter down the hallway and we figured, ‘Yep, it must be Wynn funeral!’” Another one of those “unorthodox Wynn-moments” occurred after the funeral services concluded: My dad and his brothers (who were the pallbearers) were carrying my grandmother’s casket out to the waiting hearse when the metal lid of the casket made a loud popping sound. Everyone in the family heard it and we were all thinking the same thing. We all tried to bite our lips, although unsuccessfully. My dad, in an effort to prevent the inevitable, quietly said, “Don’t say it!” Then one of my uncles went ahead and said, “I think she [my grandmother] wants out!” That’s when we all lost it and busted out into laughter! But we were okay with that because we were gathered together as one big, united family. And as somber as that funeral may have been, it is thanks to our belief in the gospel that this occasion was also a celebration, a time to be happy for a life well-lived and life now progressed into the eternities.
But not all families are the same and some are worse off than others, especially those who don’t know the joy we know and have. I feel sorry for those who don’t have the gospel in their lives. I feel sorry for those who don’t know what it’s like to have the bond I share with my family. President Dieter F. Uchtodorf said, “Many had lost out on choice memories that come from spending time with family and friends. They missed developing a deep connection with those who meant the most to them.” (‘Of Regrets and Resolutions’, October 2012) There are many reasons why we as Latter-day Saints should share the gospel; bringing families together should be one of those reasons. Compared to my part-member family circumstances, I feel fortunate that all is relatively well with us. Without going into too much detail, I have seen other families torn apart, dysfunctional, unable to work out differences and things ended badly for the family members, especially the children. If we’re doing things right with our families we desire nothing but the best for our family, like Lehi demonstrated in the vision of the tree of life: “And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable above all other fruit.” (1 Nephi 8:12)
I know this is the true Church of Jesus Christ. The gospel of Jesus Christ also is true; it focuses greatly on the family and I know that when we raise our families around gospel standards, those relationships will become stronger and each family member will also be better individuals as well. Because of the unique experiences I have coming from my family circumstances, I have a testimony on the importance of families. I also know that no matter what the differences in culture or belief, things can work out. Furthermore, I know that families can be eternally together forever. I also testify of the importance of mutual respect; you can appreciate one’s culture and beliefs different from yours better that way, especially when it’s from a family member who is close to you. I am who I am today, because of my family. I know God loves each and every one of His children regardless of culture or belief. My thoughts and testimony I leave with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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