Underappreciated? Yes. Beaten? No.

I've been home for about five days now. A lot of things worked out and a few things didn't but that's the way life rolls. I was officially released from the callings of a Ward pianist and FHE co-group leader I held at my college YSA ward; you'll probably recall that when I wrote a blog post about that a few months back... Needless to say, I am happy to be home and not have to worry about school, at least for a season. And of course, I had some great and memorable experiences during my first year of college. One mistake (and I mean this half-jokingly and half-serious) I won't be making next year at school is accepting a calling to be a Ward pianist for a college ward. Personally, I felt there were quite a few people who were well-qualified like me (if not, better) to at least take a week to play the music for Sacrament Meetings. But they were either chickens or busy with other callings. This semester I was pretty much doing playing piano full-time because though I originally alternated weekly with another member of the Ward, for some reason that stopped happening. Another nail to the coffin: the Bishopric called in a replacement but that individual was AWOL so I was called back into playing every Sunday... I certainly felt underappreciated ESPECIALLY after stepping up to try to fill in some voids. That's why I won't accept that same calling again because personally, I feel that there are people better suited than me because my repertoire of Hymns are limited. They just don't want to do it because they claim to feel the same way.

Typical of my family and how we roll, I HAD to come home in the midst of many things going on here at home. My sister's getting ready to leave on her mission in a few short days and my cousin just got married. What else? I have to find a job and work... The list goes on and on and I'm embarrassed to add any more to the list. Typically, I would see my aunt and uncle stopping by at home. Of course they would ask me if I was coming back to the YSA Branch here at home (because they're serving in it). I really couldn't give them a straight answer. My aunt is (in my opinion) exceptional at music so her calling involves a lot of the musical stuff that goes on in this Branch. After just getting done with my calling as a Ward Pianist in Rexburg, I would totally expect everyone else here at home to suggest and hint at my so-called musical abilities. I'm not even that good... My uncle mentioned that my name has come up several times in Church meetings over at the YSA Branch I suppose I should be returning to...

My initial reaction: "Crap! I'm back on radar..."

Did you expect this blog where I express my feelings and testimony of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when appropriate to be all sunshine and rainbows? Well, I hate to break it to you but if your life is all sunshine and rainbows, then you're learning nothing. The Church is true. The members are not. Yes, the positive experiences you have help you learn things; it even reinforces the things you've already learned. But for me, a lot of the more "negative" or less-joyful experiences are where I learn the most. Those are the moments where I've learned some really great and important life-lessons. You make mistakes so you can learn not to repeat any of them again. You learn from your mistakes. It's not easy and sometimes it hurts, but because of these experiences, I'm a lot happier now than when I was back then. You fall and get hurt because you need to learn to pick yourself up. That's how it's supposed to be in mortality and this is part of the great plan of happiness our Father in Heaven set forth for us. We're here today because we chose to follow Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. By choosing to follow Christ, we've allowed trials and challenges to test us along with our faith and testimony. For me, I cannot simply build up my faith and testimony purely off of "sunshine and rainbows" taboos and cliches. I'm not implying that we should have pessimistic outlooks on things. But we need to be in a sense of learning when we go through difficult and trying times. Part of the reason why some become pessimistic is because they start to feel underappreciated for the efforts or contributions they made.

As for me, I do feel underappreciated for the things I do, the things I accomplished that for me seemed to have gone unnoticed, the good-faith effort I try to put forth. But I am far being beaten and admitting defeat. That's what the gospel does to us; it keeps us going. So it's gonna get old (and maybe a little cliche) when I say this but:

The gospel's true!

Conference-style Talk: Evaluating Your Own Integrity

Once again, for another semester, I was required to write a research paper/talk thingy for my religion class. This one is entitled, 'Evaluating Your Own Inegrity'. Graded, this did really well. Due to time constraints, we were unable to share our full talks as a class so I will publish it here.

I was on a small plane flying from St. Anthony, Idaho to Pinedale, Wyoming this past April during the week break in between semesters. The aircraft we were flying on is capable of reaching altitudes beyond 15,000 feet thanks to a turbo-charged engine, which is probably a good thing because there were mountains and rugged terrain to stay clear of on this flight. This particular aircraft has some history though. You see two years prior to my flight, this aircraft was involved in a landing incident where its retractable landing gears collapsed upon touch-down.

Here’s a little more background information: Depending on the aircraft-type, all airplanes are required by FAA regulations to go under a rather scrutinizing inspection called the annual-inspections after achieving a certain number of flight hours. This aircraft recently had its annual-inspection prior to this incident. It was during that inspection that a metal rod about two feet long in length designed to handle the stresses of a landing aircraft was discovered to have hairline cracks visible only under an electron microscope. The mechanic contracted to replace the needed parts rationalized that this metal rod was still good and did not replace it despite instructions clearly stating the need for replacement. Just like that, the landing gear system of the aircraft was compromised. It was only a matter of time after a number of landings that this metal rod would fail, causing the incident, damaging the aircraft, putting lives at risk, not to mention a financial headache for the owner to get additional repairs that weren’t previously necessary done. The incident was preventable.

There is a reason why air travel is considered the safest mode of transportation in most parts of the world; it’s because the industry and the agencies in charge of overseeing them scrutinize heavily on quality standards of safety and structural integrity. From my personal experiences being around planes and the knowledge gained about the aviation industry, I have discovered spiritual parallels with it regarding the principle of integrity. Like those industry standards we hear about for structural integrity or quality control, we too have our own personal integrity to keep in check. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Twelve once said, “To me, integrity means always doing what is right and good, regardless of the immediate consequences. It means being righteous from the very depth of our soul, not only in our actions but, more importantly, in our thoughts and in our hearts. Personal integrity implies such trustworthiness and incorruptibility that we are incapable of being false to a trust or covenant.” (April, 1990)

It’s possible that this mechanic who was contracted to tend the incident aircraft I mentioned was trying to saving money for the company he worked for. In this case, the innocent decisions and rationalizations made could have led to potentially disastrous consequences for the people flying that day, not to mention an otherwise perfectly-working airplane. Like an aircraft and its required inspections it has to go through, we too must assess our own personal integrity. So the question now is: How? In The Book of Mormon, Nephi exhorted his brothers with the following: “And now my brethren, if ye were righteous and were and were willing to hearken to the truth, and give heed unto it, that ye might walk uprightly before God, then ye would not murmur because of the truth, and say: Thou speakest hard things against us.” (1 Nephi 16:3) That is sound advice for us all.

We should all strive to live up to “Temple Recommend” worthy status in our lives. President Marion G. Romney once said, “I need not belabor the fact that the world is at the present time in desperate need of men of integrity. The proof of this statement may be read in every publication, heard on every radio, and both seen and heard in every visual and sound production. Our very civilization is in jeopardy. If it is to be rescued, it must be done by men of integrity.” (October, 1974) I echo the words of President Romney. Today, we live in a world where social standards continue to decay as sin and unrighteous behavior contrary to Church standards become the accepted norm of society. In a world where it’s easy to cheat and lie in our dealings with our fellow man, it’s more important that we stay clear of the worldly hazards and keep our personal integrity intact. We will stand out as a beacon to the world when we stay upright and righteous in our dealings. Our neighbors around us will notice how we stand out among the rest. And most importantly, think of the blessings you will receive and be eligible for when you do so.

However, what if your personal integrity wasn’t up to what it should be? The landing incident I mentioned earlier was preventable had that metal rod been replaced as instructed. And you can prevent a lot of grief in your own life by staying on that strait and narrow path. Stray from the path and you could potentially crash and burn and require spiritual repairs that would’ve been otherwise not necessary had you been obedient from the beginning. Said our Prophet Thomas S. Monson, “We simply cannot afford the luxury of a detour from which we may never return.” (October 2010)

Now we’re not perfect. All of us eventually hit a stumbling block, or two, or three, or more. Mortality is supposed to be full of trials and difficulties where sometimes our personal integrity is challenged. For some, these challenges are harder than it is for others. It was never meant to be easy. And it’s easy for us to get discouraged and even throw in the towel. But that is no excuse for you not to make things right. Please understand there is a path back; you can make things right. In the words of Alma: “But God ceaseth not to be God, and mercy claimeth the penitent, and mercy cometh because of the atonement; and the atonement bringeth to pass the resurrection of the dead; and the resurrection of the dead bringeth back men into the presence of God; and thus they are restored into his presence, to be judged according to their works, according to the law and justice. For behold, justice exerciseth all his demands, and also mercy claimeth all which is her own; and thus, none but the truly penitent are saved.” (Alma 42:23-24)

Integrity is often the indicator of our personal character and desires. I typically notice a connection between integrity and the armor of God. However, unlike traditional shields or pieces of armor typical of knights you see portrayed in the movies, the armor of God is only effective when our personal integrity is strong and upright in harmony with obedience of the commandments and Church standards. Ephesians 6:13-18 describe what I feel are the requirements needed to live a righteous life where our personal integrity can stand out and shine: “Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;” (Ephesians 6:13-18)

We know what we need to do. We have the necessary knowledge to know where we need to be in our lives. Our personal integrity, our armor must not have a single chink in it. May we always strive to stand upright before God. May our lives be full of enriching and righteous deeds to our fellow man. May we always, for those worthy and eligible, maintain a current Temple Recommend and strengthen our faith by going to the Temple often or when we’re able to. Temple attendance can shelter us from the world and strengthen personal resolve and discover answers that can help us.

I testify to you of the importance of personal integrity. It is the indicator of our lives that will determine whether we have a smooth landing or a rough landing. It defines moral character in which how others around us will see who we really are. I also have a testimony of the truthfulness of the restored gospel; it was restored by God through the prophet Joseph Smith. The Church today is led today by a man of integrity, even Thomas S. Monson who is our Prophet, Seer, and Revelator in these latter-days. I know he is the mouthpiece of God, from where we are able receive divine instruction. And most importantly, I’m grateful for the one who displays perfect integrity; our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I know He came to this earth to atone and die for us. I know he was resurrected and has given us the opportunity to do the same. In times of trial, difficulty and repentance, when our integrity needs work, it is my hope and prayer that we turn to Him and the continuing works of the Atonement. My thoughts and testimony, I leave with you in name of Jesus Christ, amen.