Underappreciated? Yes. Beaten? No.

I've been home for about five days now. A lot of things worked out and a few things didn't but that's the way life rolls. I was officially released from the callings of a Ward pianist and FHE co-group leader I held at my college YSA ward; you'll probably recall that when I wrote a blog post about that a few months back... Needless to say, I am happy to be home and not have to worry about school, at least for a season. And of course, I had some great and memorable experiences during my first year of college. One mistake (and I mean this half-jokingly and half-serious) I won't be making next year at school is accepting a calling to be a Ward pianist for a college ward. Personally, I felt there were quite a few people who were well-qualified like me (if not, better) to at least take a week to play the music for Sacrament Meetings. But they were either chickens or busy with other callings. This semester I was pretty much doing playing piano full-time because though I originally alternated weekly with another member of the Ward, for some reason that stopped happening. Another nail to the coffin: the Bishopric called in a replacement but that individual was AWOL so I was called back into playing every Sunday... I certainly felt underappreciated ESPECIALLY after stepping up to try to fill in some voids. That's why I won't accept that same calling again because personally, I feel that there are people better suited than me because my repertoire of Hymns are limited. They just don't want to do it because they claim to feel the same way.

Typical of my family and how we roll, I HAD to come home in the midst of many things going on here at home. My sister's getting ready to leave on her mission in a few short days and my cousin just got married. What else? I have to find a job and work... The list goes on and on and I'm embarrassed to add any more to the list. Typically, I would see my aunt and uncle stopping by at home. Of course they would ask me if I was coming back to the YSA Branch here at home (because they're serving in it). I really couldn't give them a straight answer. My aunt is (in my opinion) exceptional at music so her calling involves a lot of the musical stuff that goes on in this Branch. After just getting done with my calling as a Ward Pianist in Rexburg, I would totally expect everyone else here at home to suggest and hint at my so-called musical abilities. I'm not even that good... My uncle mentioned that my name has come up several times in Church meetings over at the YSA Branch I suppose I should be returning to...

My initial reaction: "Crap! I'm back on radar..."

Did you expect this blog where I express my feelings and testimony of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when appropriate to be all sunshine and rainbows? Well, I hate to break it to you but if your life is all sunshine and rainbows, then you're learning nothing. The Church is true. The members are not. Yes, the positive experiences you have help you learn things; it even reinforces the things you've already learned. But for me, a lot of the more "negative" or less-joyful experiences are where I learn the most. Those are the moments where I've learned some really great and important life-lessons. You make mistakes so you can learn not to repeat any of them again. You learn from your mistakes. It's not easy and sometimes it hurts, but because of these experiences, I'm a lot happier now than when I was back then. You fall and get hurt because you need to learn to pick yourself up. That's how it's supposed to be in mortality and this is part of the great plan of happiness our Father in Heaven set forth for us. We're here today because we chose to follow Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. By choosing to follow Christ, we've allowed trials and challenges to test us along with our faith and testimony. For me, I cannot simply build up my faith and testimony purely off of "sunshine and rainbows" taboos and cliches. I'm not implying that we should have pessimistic outlooks on things. But we need to be in a sense of learning when we go through difficult and trying times. Part of the reason why some become pessimistic is because they start to feel underappreciated for the efforts or contributions they made.

As for me, I do feel underappreciated for the things I do, the things I accomplished that for me seemed to have gone unnoticed, the good-faith effort I try to put forth. But I am far being beaten and admitting defeat. That's what the gospel does to us; it keeps us going. So it's gonna get old (and maybe a little cliche) when I say this but:

The gospel's true!