Christmas/New Years Highlights

I want to wish you a merry Christmas, for those of you who celebrate it. And if not, Happy Holidays! And a Happy New Year to you all!

As of last year, I started dreading the holiday season not because of the typical stresses that is normally included with it but mainly because since I am on the Winter-Spring track at BYU-Idaho, that means I start school as soon as the holidays are over. So naturally, I'm a little reluctant to leave the comforts of home... The one silver lining about that is I already have a year of college done so I know what and what-not to do this time around. Plus, I still have relatives close by (and they're always happy to take me in! Benefits!).

But that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the holidays. Christmas time for my family at least is pretty low key; we got the tree and some decorations out so at least we were attempting to show some holiday spirit. But surprisingly, this year I found it a little difficult to have that spirit; I can't pinpoint on an explanation as to why... Some of us were a little under the weather unfortunately, and that probably contributed to it. I also tried to listen to Christmas music at home and while driving around town but that seemed to do little to remedy the lack of Christmas spirit. Of course we're one short in our family this year, with my younger sister currently serving her mission in Singapore; she was pretty good at bringing in the Christmas spirit at home in the past.

But we tried to have a good time and all. We're low key because well, we're poor. But that's okay because we realized a few years back that we don't really need a lot of material objects. The holidays officially start at Thanksgiving. The Friday after Thanksgiving is Black Friday; I am still appalled at how people would be celebrating a day meant to have a heart full of gratitude and then get all materialistic afterwards all in an attempt to get their shopping done with some of the lowest discounted prices around. The holidays have become overly commercialized; some places worse than others.

For the last couple Christmases since moving to Oregon, we've been so poor that what we would get for Christmas couldn't even compare with what a lot of people usually get. Again, we were alright with that; my sisters and I are old enough and grown to understand the true meanings of the holidays and we're okay with very little material things received on Christmas morning. For our family, the Christmas season is where if we find something for somebody that we know they're going to enjoy and use, get it but don't overdo it. The first time around was actually pretty sad because my dad was unemployed at the time and we didn't get any Christmas decorations out; we lacked any real motivation due to the fact we had just moved across the country and a list of other reasons I can't think off the top of my head. We even went to have lunch at Burger King on Christmas Day (mainly because it was the only place even open). That's sad, isn't it? But believe it or not, that has become a tradition for us to repeat. Again, we were fine with that because we were just grateful to be together as a family.

I wish I could say the same of this year with my sister currently serving a mission but I'll say it again: she is where she needs to be. Speaking of my missionary sister, of course we would get to talk to her on Christmas via Skype (technology is amazing). It was just nice to see her face and know that she's doing well and she's finding joy in the service of the Lord. We also tried to find time to play games as a family and that's always pretty fun. We had a lot of fun playing rounds of Rummy, something my parents taught us all to play years ago.

From a Church standpoint, I found time to meet new friends and get to spend time with them, which I am also grateful for...

All great people!

Truth is, I haven't even heard from or seen a lot of my old friends from high school so I went out and made new friends to do fun things with. Most of them are in the YSA Branch I attend while at home so I spent time with them at Church activities and Family Home Evenings regardless. And then there's always the annual YSA New Years party to close out the year. For me the holidays have become much more than just traditions and materialism. For me, it's about the quality of it from different aspects and going the extra mile a little bit more, year by year. "Going the extra mile" meaning trying something new and spending time with different people when opportunity allows.

With school around the corner, it's time to enjoy the opportunities at hand and make preparations for greater opportunities packaged with the new year. With an attitude like that, the possibilities are endless. As one of my favorite Reno Air Races t-shirts say:

"Fly low, fly fast, turn left!"

"No limits!"

 Happy New Years everyone!

To My Late-Grandmother: Years of Experience and Wisdom Passed On

This past weekend has been one of the more harder ones... Not only that, but this is the third time this year I had to go through this, these emotional roller coasters (second time for family).  It was Wednesday morning and we had just finished up the first of three jobs of the day cleaning air ducts of people's homes. My co-worker was collecting payment while I was waiting outside with the work truck when my Dad forwarded me a text message he received from one of my uncles, informing us all that my Grandmother, Thayle Beckstead Wynn died. Reading that message made my work day a whole lot harder; I cried for about five minutes but I focused on getting back to the days work ahead and tend to these family matters after I got off work. My parents and I were able to get work off for Friday which we spent half of driving over to Idaho, just in time for the viewing service; my youngest sister drove up with relatives from Provo to join us as well.

Health problems related to age finally caught up with her but she went peacefully, didn't linger, was in no pain, and was surrounded at home with family members. She is now free from the pains of this world and reunited with her parents, siblings, son, and friends... Having lived until the age of 85, my grandmother had a life well-lived, having been through and being a witness to so many iconic moments in the history of the 20th Century. Earlier this year one my uncles (my grandparents' oldest son) died unexpectedly and that was really hard for my grandparents. I'm pretty sure my uncle was one of the very first people to greet my grandmother on the other side, along with a whole lot of others meaningful in her life back in the day. Heaven received an incredible angel.

She served a total of three missions with my grandfather as her companion; first the Eastern States Mission in the late 40s, then the Ohio Akron Mission during the late 80s, and most recently as Family History Center Missionaries in Mesa Arizona around the turn of the century. She also raised nine children, including my Dad. She was also a strong advocate for having good music in the home, which my Dad mentioned in his tribute to her during the funeral services. As a Piano, Trumpet, Baritone, and Ocarina player, the fact I can play these instruments and read music (along with my two younger sisters) is a part of my Grandmother's legacy. I suppose I should also credit her for the fact that I listen to a lot good genres in music, including the things my Dad grew up listening to and not so much with the crap this current generation listens to!

Though she is gone now, it is only a temporal 'good-bye'. I know there were a lot people waiting for my Grandmother on the other side. Though it was a somber occasion, this was a life with an incredible legacy to celebrate. And my grandmother touched the lives of many in the Ashton, Idaho-area. We Wynn's are slightly unorthodox when it comes to handling death and that's usually the result of having the gospel in our lives. During the viewing someone coming to pay their respect said, "We walked in the door and hear laughter down the hallway and we all thought, 'Yep, this must be a Wynn funeral.'" My Dad and my uncles were the pallbearers for the funeral. As we moved from the Church to the hearse en route to the cemetery, the lid of metal casket bearing my late-grandmother made a popping sound. Family members in hearing distance of that sound all had the same thought, at the exact same instant. We all had to bite our lips, not very successfully, a quiet laugh. In an effort to prevent the inevitable, my dad said in a low voice, "Don't say it!" But then there's my ever-so-awesome uncle Sam, in a not-so very low voice said, "I think she wants out!" And that was it, we all lost it, bursting into laughter! Again, "It must be a Wynn funeral!" But we were fine with that because that's how we were all raised. My grandmother would've laughed with us.

The weather for this occasion was absolutely gorgeous. My grandmother would've loved it... And many, many family members were present. The only downside was that my grandmother would have loved to have been among her many extended family members... I was extremely privileged to be part of the funeral service in accompanying the closing special musical number on the piano with my aunt and sister in a flute duet, playing a Hymn well-loved by my grandparents, 'Sweet Hour of Prayer'. According to my Dad, we put the exclamation point on his tribute to having music in the home. Our only regret with this musical number is that it wasn't a flute trio, with my other sister currently serving in the Singapore Mission, but she is where she needs to be and my grandmother would've wanted it that way. I loved what my dad said to my sister in an E-mail detailing the occasion: "I'm sure she's smiling down on you right now and will be another companion for you for the rest of your mission."

It's times like this when your testimony is truly strengthened and you're more grateful than ever for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the promises made to each and every one you in the Plan of Salvation. As my 'favorite' sister missionary in the Singapore Mission so eloquently put it, "The Atonement of Jesus Christ fixes everything that's unfair about life. I was thinking, grandparents are supposed to die. Dads and brothers aren't. Young missionaries aren't supposed to die on their missions. But that's okay because Christ already took care of everything that will ever hurt us." I echo the words of my sister. This gospel is true. Jesus Christ did suffer for each and every one of us so that the very things that will ever hurt us would have less of an impact. The Atonement works; it has worked for our family and will continue to do so. And of course, it can and will work for you as well. Families can be together forever. I leave these thoughts, these experiences, and my testimony with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen

On the left is my grandfather and on the right is my late-grandmother.

Don't wait up for me Grandma! I'll see you on the other side!!!

Missionaries: You Need Them and They Need You!

Granted, there are more things you can do other than the ones mentioned here, depending on local circumstances.

Recently, the Salem YSA Branch got sister missionaries in place of the Elders who transferred out. After a while, I overheard a conversation where someone said, "These sister missionaries are the best! They're better than any Elder I've known."

Where have I heard THAT before?! And THAT got my blood boiling. I know many great young men (friends and extended family) who served their missions faithfully and did their best. I even had the privilege of working with some of them, both during and after my mission. One thing I despise and resent is favoritism, especially in the Church and I'm afraid many members do it more often than we realize. I've seen it way too often on my mission between Elders and Sisters. Sister missionaries seemed to get pampered with extra "luxuries" such as a ride to the mission home from the subway station on a rainy day en route to a mission meeting.

I served in the Japan Nagoya Mission (Central Japan) and Japan overall is a harder place to do missionary work than other parts of the world. Generally speaking, sister missionaries seem to get more baptisms and lessons in a transfer mainly because their investigators are mainly women and they don't have problem visiting them. There are opposite sex rules that every missionary has to abide by. One of the most frustrating parts about my mission was the difficulty of getting Priesthood holders to go with us to our lessons because of their work schedules. Our tracting/housing led us to mostly female investigators and we had a hard time meeting them often due to the rules regarding the opposite sex. From my mission experiences, male investigators were hard to come by because from a cultural standpoint, they were always at work and weren't home until late in the evening, a time when all missionaries need to be home in their apartments getting ready for bed. That of course, led to criticism from members and mission leaders alike, who felt we weren't giving it our all when we were in fact trying to make the best of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. It also led to some missionaries being more favored than others and it shouldn't have been that way at all. And it didn't stop there; at mission meetings, the Elders often get grilled for the supposed "lack" of success.

Why do you think sister missionaries are much more "successful" than the Elders? It's because their investigators and converts are mostly female and they don't have a problem meeting with them.

Why do you think sister missionaries are so much more better than "any Elders you've known?" It's only because of those "higher success rates."

Now, I have a younger sister who is currently serving in the Singapore Mission. She has my full support in doing what she's doing and I couldn't be more proud of her. And mind you, she is in a place that's equally as difficult to do missionary work due to varying culture and religions. She's doing many good things. And for your information, Elders can be just as successful if YOU, the member help them. You don't measure success just in the number of convert baptism missionaries get. You measure success in their obedience to mission rules and in their faithfulness. Some missionaries will and have gone through their entire mission without seeing a single baptism and some feel like a failure as a result, but that's only because those around them who are critical make them feel so. Elders for the most part have a greater vision in mind for their investigators: worthy Priesthood holders. The Church stands in need always of worthy Priesthood holders and that potential lies within the new converts of the Church. And that's why we need to support our missionaries.

Missionaries, whether they are full-time Elders, Sisters, Senior Couples, Mission President and wife, or member missionaries, we need them and they need us! I challenge you to step up to the plate and give the full-time missionaries who are serving in your home Ward or Branch a helping hand in whatever way you feel inspired to do so. Stop playing "favorites!" Every missionary has a reason for serving and they're out there to touch different peoples' lives.

You should expect nothing more out of them than for them to do their best, obey the mission rules, and be faithful to the Lord. And that applies to us members as well:

• Do your best
• Obey the commandments
• Have faith

Changes in the Air... AGAIN!

One typical trend we always see in any Young Single Adult Ward or Branch is changes in membership with people coming and going, whether it's for school, careers, marriages and the list might go on... That also means constant changes in many callings in the Church for us YSA members, including leadership. It's inevitable that I've been on the radar for some time now and that means my callings in the Church, particularly in the YSA Branch are subject to change in order to accommodate said changes. That being said, I was recently extended a calling to be a counselor in the Elders Quorum Presidency. I was also released from my duties in the Sunday School Presidency. It was funny how all this played out; I first a got a phone call from a member of the Branch Presidency, who asked if he could meet with me before the block on the upcoming Sunday. About 15 minutes later, I get ANOTHER phone call, this time from a member of the Stake Presidency. He asked the same thing, if he could meet with me sometime before the YSA block hours on the upcoming Sunday. Immediately I got that feeling; my thoughts went "Greeaat, they want me to do more things for the Church."

Sunday came and I first met with the member of the Branch Presidency who called me previously. He extended the calling of Sunday School President to me, which I accepted. Soon after, I met with the member of the Stake Presidency who called me earlier in the week and he extended the calling of Second Counselor in the Elders Quorum Presidency to me. Was I surprised? No, considering how lacking the Salem YSA Branch has become. But this caused a little confusion and some quick last-minute shuffling on the part of the leaders. How typical... My initial calling as Sunday School President was now null and I would get the calling to be part of the Elders Quorum Presidency. Personally, I am feeling a little under-qualified to be in this capacity. And even on a more personal note, I have become a little fed-up with how things have been going for the Branch, in terms of membership attendance in both Church and Family Home Evening activities and in leadership meetings. I have attended a few Branch Council meetings and honestly, it's all talk and not a lot of results. Anything I felt inspired to say either gets shot down or I get an earful of something in response. All I want to do is fulfill my duties in the calling(s) that I have and help move the overall progress of the Branch in a forward direction. If there's one thing I don't like about a leadership capacity in the Church, it would have to be going to additional meetings, especially ones where it's almost pointless to go to if things are not going to get done. Nothing against the Church and the people who help make it up but there are WAY too many redundancies.

Once again, I take my new calling with the attitude that I have something I need to learn out of it. I don't know why the Lord put me in this position but I'm confident that He knows what He's doing and I'll put my trust in Him and His guidance. And most importantly, I will do my best.

Back on the Bandwagon...

Well, it was my first day back in the Young Single Adult Branch here at home and needless to say, I got a calling right off the bat! I've been called to be the First Counselor in the Sunday School Presidency for the YSA Branch. I think this is a good time to mention that it's been a few years since my calling(s) involved being part of a presidency... Once again, I feel like a chicken with it's head cut off. You'll recall on my previous blog post that my name was brought up thanks to my uncle, who has no doubt touched the lives of so many members in this Stake through his previous callings as both a Bishop and then a Stake President. Being related to him and sharing the same last-name, I certainly feel some pressure to not screw things up. Some people have already told me that they're looking for people who are reliable to fulfill these callings; I'm not one for considering myself to be reliable!

So it is what it is. Once again, I take this calling with a sense that I have something I need to learn from it. And no doubt I'll get something out of fulfilling this calling that will benefit me for the rest of my life, hopefully. Frankly, responsibilities through Church callings is the LAST thing on my mind right now. My biggest problem/worry right now is finding a job so I can earn some money to pay for school and have some available finances for some additional necessities. This happens from time to time throughout the various callings, but they can sometimes get in the way of other priorities; some busier than others. But perhaps this calling will allow me to gain some necessary experience. I guess we'll wait and find out... So I'm back on the bandwagon of callings and responsibilities to be juggled with other priorities.

I know we are called into these positions for a reason. It is through these callings that we are put into a refining process, to better ourselves, for us to learn, and maybe, perhaps maybe touch the lives of others. When we serve others, we are in turn serving as the Lord's disciples.

"If ye love me, keep my commandments." (John 14:15)

Underappreciated? Yes. Beaten? No.

I've been home for about five days now. A lot of things worked out and a few things didn't but that's the way life rolls. I was officially released from the callings of a Ward pianist and FHE co-group leader I held at my college YSA ward; you'll probably recall that when I wrote a blog post about that a few months back... Needless to say, I am happy to be home and not have to worry about school, at least for a season. And of course, I had some great and memorable experiences during my first year of college. One mistake (and I mean this half-jokingly and half-serious) I won't be making next year at school is accepting a calling to be a Ward pianist for a college ward. Personally, I felt there were quite a few people who were well-qualified like me (if not, better) to at least take a week to play the music for Sacrament Meetings. But they were either chickens or busy with other callings. This semester I was pretty much doing playing piano full-time because though I originally alternated weekly with another member of the Ward, for some reason that stopped happening. Another nail to the coffin: the Bishopric called in a replacement but that individual was AWOL so I was called back into playing every Sunday... I certainly felt underappreciated ESPECIALLY after stepping up to try to fill in some voids. That's why I won't accept that same calling again because personally, I feel that there are people better suited than me because my repertoire of Hymns are limited. They just don't want to do it because they claim to feel the same way.

Typical of my family and how we roll, I HAD to come home in the midst of many things going on here at home. My sister's getting ready to leave on her mission in a few short days and my cousin just got married. What else? I have to find a job and work... The list goes on and on and I'm embarrassed to add any more to the list. Typically, I would see my aunt and uncle stopping by at home. Of course they would ask me if I was coming back to the YSA Branch here at home (because they're serving in it). I really couldn't give them a straight answer. My aunt is (in my opinion) exceptional at music so her calling involves a lot of the musical stuff that goes on in this Branch. After just getting done with my calling as a Ward Pianist in Rexburg, I would totally expect everyone else here at home to suggest and hint at my so-called musical abilities. I'm not even that good... My uncle mentioned that my name has come up several times in Church meetings over at the YSA Branch I suppose I should be returning to...

My initial reaction: "Crap! I'm back on radar..."

Did you expect this blog where I express my feelings and testimony of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when appropriate to be all sunshine and rainbows? Well, I hate to break it to you but if your life is all sunshine and rainbows, then you're learning nothing. The Church is true. The members are not. Yes, the positive experiences you have help you learn things; it even reinforces the things you've already learned. But for me, a lot of the more "negative" or less-joyful experiences are where I learn the most. Those are the moments where I've learned some really great and important life-lessons. You make mistakes so you can learn not to repeat any of them again. You learn from your mistakes. It's not easy and sometimes it hurts, but because of these experiences, I'm a lot happier now than when I was back then. You fall and get hurt because you need to learn to pick yourself up. That's how it's supposed to be in mortality and this is part of the great plan of happiness our Father in Heaven set forth for us. We're here today because we chose to follow Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. By choosing to follow Christ, we've allowed trials and challenges to test us along with our faith and testimony. For me, I cannot simply build up my faith and testimony purely off of "sunshine and rainbows" taboos and cliches. I'm not implying that we should have pessimistic outlooks on things. But we need to be in a sense of learning when we go through difficult and trying times. Part of the reason why some become pessimistic is because they start to feel underappreciated for the efforts or contributions they made.

As for me, I do feel underappreciated for the things I do, the things I accomplished that for me seemed to have gone unnoticed, the good-faith effort I try to put forth. But I am far being beaten and admitting defeat. That's what the gospel does to us; it keeps us going. So it's gonna get old (and maybe a little cliche) when I say this but:

The gospel's true!

Conference-style Talk: Evaluating Your Own Integrity

Once again, for another semester, I was required to write a research paper/talk thingy for my religion class. This one is entitled, 'Evaluating Your Own Inegrity'. Graded, this did really well. Due to time constraints, we were unable to share our full talks as a class so I will publish it here.

I was on a small plane flying from St. Anthony, Idaho to Pinedale, Wyoming this past April during the week break in between semesters. The aircraft we were flying on is capable of reaching altitudes beyond 15,000 feet thanks to a turbo-charged engine, which is probably a good thing because there were mountains and rugged terrain to stay clear of on this flight. This particular aircraft has some history though. You see two years prior to my flight, this aircraft was involved in a landing incident where its retractable landing gears collapsed upon touch-down.

Here’s a little more background information: Depending on the aircraft-type, all airplanes are required by FAA regulations to go under a rather scrutinizing inspection called the annual-inspections after achieving a certain number of flight hours. This aircraft recently had its annual-inspection prior to this incident. It was during that inspection that a metal rod about two feet long in length designed to handle the stresses of a landing aircraft was discovered to have hairline cracks visible only under an electron microscope. The mechanic contracted to replace the needed parts rationalized that this metal rod was still good and did not replace it despite instructions clearly stating the need for replacement. Just like that, the landing gear system of the aircraft was compromised. It was only a matter of time after a number of landings that this metal rod would fail, causing the incident, damaging the aircraft, putting lives at risk, not to mention a financial headache for the owner to get additional repairs that weren’t previously necessary done. The incident was preventable.

There is a reason why air travel is considered the safest mode of transportation in most parts of the world; it’s because the industry and the agencies in charge of overseeing them scrutinize heavily on quality standards of safety and structural integrity. From my personal experiences being around planes and the knowledge gained about the aviation industry, I have discovered spiritual parallels with it regarding the principle of integrity. Like those industry standards we hear about for structural integrity or quality control, we too have our own personal integrity to keep in check. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Twelve once said, “To me, integrity means always doing what is right and good, regardless of the immediate consequences. It means being righteous from the very depth of our soul, not only in our actions but, more importantly, in our thoughts and in our hearts. Personal integrity implies such trustworthiness and incorruptibility that we are incapable of being false to a trust or covenant.” (April, 1990)

It’s possible that this mechanic who was contracted to tend the incident aircraft I mentioned was trying to saving money for the company he worked for. In this case, the innocent decisions and rationalizations made could have led to potentially disastrous consequences for the people flying that day, not to mention an otherwise perfectly-working airplane. Like an aircraft and its required inspections it has to go through, we too must assess our own personal integrity. So the question now is: How? In The Book of Mormon, Nephi exhorted his brothers with the following: “And now my brethren, if ye were righteous and were and were willing to hearken to the truth, and give heed unto it, that ye might walk uprightly before God, then ye would not murmur because of the truth, and say: Thou speakest hard things against us.” (1 Nephi 16:3) That is sound advice for us all.

We should all strive to live up to “Temple Recommend” worthy status in our lives. President Marion G. Romney once said, “I need not belabor the fact that the world is at the present time in desperate need of men of integrity. The proof of this statement may be read in every publication, heard on every radio, and both seen and heard in every visual and sound production. Our very civilization is in jeopardy. If it is to be rescued, it must be done by men of integrity.” (October, 1974) I echo the words of President Romney. Today, we live in a world where social standards continue to decay as sin and unrighteous behavior contrary to Church standards become the accepted norm of society. In a world where it’s easy to cheat and lie in our dealings with our fellow man, it’s more important that we stay clear of the worldly hazards and keep our personal integrity intact. We will stand out as a beacon to the world when we stay upright and righteous in our dealings. Our neighbors around us will notice how we stand out among the rest. And most importantly, think of the blessings you will receive and be eligible for when you do so.

However, what if your personal integrity wasn’t up to what it should be? The landing incident I mentioned earlier was preventable had that metal rod been replaced as instructed. And you can prevent a lot of grief in your own life by staying on that strait and narrow path. Stray from the path and you could potentially crash and burn and require spiritual repairs that would’ve been otherwise not necessary had you been obedient from the beginning. Said our Prophet Thomas S. Monson, “We simply cannot afford the luxury of a detour from which we may never return.” (October 2010)

Now we’re not perfect. All of us eventually hit a stumbling block, or two, or three, or more. Mortality is supposed to be full of trials and difficulties where sometimes our personal integrity is challenged. For some, these challenges are harder than it is for others. It was never meant to be easy. And it’s easy for us to get discouraged and even throw in the towel. But that is no excuse for you not to make things right. Please understand there is a path back; you can make things right. In the words of Alma: “But God ceaseth not to be God, and mercy claimeth the penitent, and mercy cometh because of the atonement; and the atonement bringeth to pass the resurrection of the dead; and the resurrection of the dead bringeth back men into the presence of God; and thus they are restored into his presence, to be judged according to their works, according to the law and justice. For behold, justice exerciseth all his demands, and also mercy claimeth all which is her own; and thus, none but the truly penitent are saved.” (Alma 42:23-24)

Integrity is often the indicator of our personal character and desires. I typically notice a connection between integrity and the armor of God. However, unlike traditional shields or pieces of armor typical of knights you see portrayed in the movies, the armor of God is only effective when our personal integrity is strong and upright in harmony with obedience of the commandments and Church standards. Ephesians 6:13-18 describe what I feel are the requirements needed to live a righteous life where our personal integrity can stand out and shine: “Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;” (Ephesians 6:13-18)

We know what we need to do. We have the necessary knowledge to know where we need to be in our lives. Our personal integrity, our armor must not have a single chink in it. May we always strive to stand upright before God. May our lives be full of enriching and righteous deeds to our fellow man. May we always, for those worthy and eligible, maintain a current Temple Recommend and strengthen our faith by going to the Temple often or when we’re able to. Temple attendance can shelter us from the world and strengthen personal resolve and discover answers that can help us.

I testify to you of the importance of personal integrity. It is the indicator of our lives that will determine whether we have a smooth landing or a rough landing. It defines moral character in which how others around us will see who we really are. I also have a testimony of the truthfulness of the restored gospel; it was restored by God through the prophet Joseph Smith. The Church today is led today by a man of integrity, even Thomas S. Monson who is our Prophet, Seer, and Revelator in these latter-days. I know he is the mouthpiece of God, from where we are able receive divine instruction. And most importantly, I’m grateful for the one who displays perfect integrity; our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I know He came to this earth to atone and die for us. I know he was resurrected and has given us the opportunity to do the same. In times of trial, difficulty and repentance, when our integrity needs work, it is my hope and prayer that we turn to Him and the continuing works of the Atonement. My thoughts and testimony, I leave with you in name of Jesus Christ, amen.

"Each Life That Touches Ours for Good"

Midway through this week, I received some sad news regarding one of my mission companions. He was killed in an automobile accident. I couldn't believe it but pretty soon, everyone I served with in the Japan Nagoya Mission was talking about it. I was of course heartbroken because he was too young. Adding to the tragedy, he got married to a lovely woman in the Church last November. In short, hearing that news really put a damper on my day. His name was Masashi Imaizumi and he was my very first Japanese companion in the mission field. We proselyted in the city of Toyohashi located in Aichi Prefecture together for a little over a transfer before I got sent to Suzuka in the Mie Prefecture. In essence, our time was short but we had a lot of great memories and experiences. I couldn't help but look through my mission pictures and find the ones of me and him...

Together we were two goofballs, but we were like brothers...

Music has always brought comfort to me during times like this and once again, I think of the lyrics to the following Hymn:

Each life that touches ours for good

Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;

Thou sendest blessings from above

Thru words and deeds of those who love.

What greater gift dost thou bestow,

What greater goodness can we know

Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways

Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

When such a friend from us departs,

We hold forever in our hearts

A sweet and hallowed memory,

Bringing us nearer, Lord, to the.

For worthy friends whose lives proclaim

Devotion to the Savior's name,

Who bless our days with peace and love,

We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.

(Hymn #293 'Each Life That Touches Ours for Good')

The two of us in shades. We were so cool!

I never thought that someone I knew, someone I had a chance to work with and get to know better would suddenly be taken away from us in less than two years time... Granted, I remember him as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But he was a mighty fine missionary serving as the Lord's representative in his home country! Though our time together in the mission field was shorter than initially expected, we had great times together. He was quiet and very observant, but he served with all his heart, might, mind, and strength. He knew the Japanese people better than me. He knew the missionary efforts in Toyohashi very well. And he was a great companion to proselyte with. It was an honor and privilege to have been able to work with him, even though our time together in Toyohashi was cut short unexpectedly. We biked through the rain and humidity and we were blessed to have been able to finish our missions together near the beginning of 2012.

The two of us standing in the left at the end of our missions.

Now that he's gone, I value the friendship and camaraderie we shared even more. And even though his sudden passing brought a painful sting to those of us who knew him, the knowledge we have through the gospel of Jesus Christ brings assurance and comfort to us to know that it's all for the best... Yes, I'm sad that he died at a young age. And I'm sad for his widowed wife; I can't imagine what she is going through in the wake of this tragedy. God allows things to happen for a reason and we can't always comprehend the will of God. But no matter what, we're better off putting our trust in Him. I have a testimony of that. It isn't easy but it's the best way to deal with it. And I know we'll run into each other again. We know about the Plan of Salvation and we are a part of it. And I know for a fact my former mission companion, my brother, Masashi Imaizumi is one who touched my life good as well as the lives of many others. He and I were like brothers and I looked up to him often. My deepest thoughts and testimony of these things I leave with you, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Callings

I'm coming up on week three of my second semester of school. Church-wise, I've been given more responsibility. I've already been serving as one of the ward pianists since last semester. For this semester, after getting our groups organized, I was extended a calling to serve as a co-group leader (a sort of "FHE dad", in addition to an "FHE mom" as some would refer to it) for our Family Home Evening Group, composed of myself, five other guys and six ladies from our Young Single Adults Ward. If you've been a longtime reader of my blog(s), you might recall when it was the last time I actually served in some kind of leadership capacity. You might also recall on how I feel about certain callings when taken into certain perspectives. If you've followed my blog up to this point, you'll know that not all the feelings I had about these topics were positive experiences.

Needless to say, I'm on pins and needles right now. I've got butterflies in my stomach. Last semester, there were times I had to take the lead on FHE group lessons/messages. Despite my attempts to be professional and maintain composure, I felt those times were next to borderline-disastrous (not complete disaster, mind you). Thankfully, the Lord doesn't expect anyone including myself to be perfect at anything.

On a similar topic, my family and I experienced good news as my younger sister received her mission call; I am a strong supporter for having more sister missionaries now that the age of eligibility for missionaries have been lowered. My sister has been called to the Singapore Mission, Malay-speaking. Where she is going was somewhat a surprise for all of us because no one in our family that I'm aware of has served a mission anywhere around that part of the world yet. Her call to serve has put me into a state of reflection as I looked back at my time in the mission field in the Japan Nagoya Mission. If I were to summarize my mission experience in less than ten words, I would say "A lot of things turned out unexpectedly." Unexpected things such as:

• The 2011 Touhoku earthquake and tsunami disaster affecting the country
• Having to cope with an influx of missionaries from the neighboring Tokyo Mission when it had to be shut down along with other consequences that were the results of the disaster
• Being sent to areas where the focus was Spanish or Brazilian Portuguese instead of my assigned language of Japanese
• Not becoming involved in some leadership capacity when all my mission I strived in the hopes to be one

To be honest, I had many ups and downs on my mission. There were numerous times when those experiences were by far the most frustrating moments. With regards to leadership (or resentment), well, I don't think I have to mention or repeat anything I clearly stated previously. I clearly remember my dad's E-mail that he wrote me during the height of those frustrations: 

"In missions and in life we are given assignments. You have been given assignments, and you have done them to the best of your ability. We don't always understand the reasoning behind those assignments... So take your assignments and continue to do them the best way know how. The other stuff will take care of itself. We all have jobs, they are all important. Sometimes they aren't "prestigious" or "high-profile", but they are all important, and not everyone can do them. So take pride in the fact that you can do them, and do them well and with success. You have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. You should be proud of your accomplishments and proud of yourself as an individual. I am. Take a new perspective. Don't worry about your peer group, you only have to measure yourself by what YOU know you are capable of, by YOUR yardstick (and maybe a little bit of MY yardstick). I measure you, and I see the good stuff you do. I couldn't be prouder of you, or prouder to be called your dad."

These words from my number one father figure really helped me to carry on especially this past year, as the going got tough. As I think about my dear sister my pride as her older brother is shining. I can see her facing new a host of challenges and feeling frustration and disappointments from time to time. But I know she can tackle them and overcome every time. Whether it's a mission, a calling, or in life, we do these things to grow. Oftentimes, we serve in our church callings and leadership capacities because we need to grow and learn something. And that's what mortal existence here basically winds down to: growing and learning. 

Going back to my recent calling I received to serve as a group leader for our Family Home Evening group, I expect to grow from serving in this calling; I expect to learn a thing or two. Since having a hiatus in leading in ANYTHING this last year, I hope to fulfill my responsibilities to the best of my abilities. If you read one of my earlier posts, I repeat what President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said:

"Certainly you are not overlooked or unwanted by your Heavenly Father. He loves you. And I tell you with certainty that you are needed by your Church... But when God works through us, no one and nothing can stand against us. This is why you are needed. You have your own special contribution to make, and God can magnify that contribution in a mighty way."

I can't say I'm confident in any of my abilities but that's not going to stop me from striving to make my contributions and learn and grow. I have a testimony of the importance in our church callings, assignments and obligation. Fulfilling them usually leads to new discoveries in one's own abilities and is a major opportunity for personal growth. Oftentimes, there are those set aside to fulfill certain tasks and only they can accomplish them because the Lord sees it fit to be so. Let the Lord's will be done.

The Priesthood: Benefits of Father Figures

I'm now back in Rexburg and classes start tomorrow. Before driving back, I asked my uncle Sam to give me a father's blessing. It is highly encouraged for us to get blessings from our fathers prior to specific moments of our lives; for example, it's appropriate to get one before leaving for a mission or embarking on military service and even before a term of school. I'm pretty sure there are other specific situations that I can't think of off the top of my head where receiving a father's blessing would be appropriate.

Even though my uncle Sam is not my dad, he is a worthy Priesthood holder and I see him as a father figure like how my dad is; I feel that way with all of my uncles in addition to my own father. I feel very blessed to have this quality within my family because not all extended families are close to each other like mine. In the absence of my dad, my uncle stepped up and administered to my needs and help me find comfort and confidence as I prepared once again to face fears of the unknown and battle to control my emotions at the start of another semester of school at BYU-Idaho.

You probably noticed the term "father figure" in the title is plural. Well it's because I believe in multiple father figures. At the same time, I realized how much I've taken for granted the benefits of the relationships I share with my extended family. I've said it before and I'll say it again: it's a real benefit in having family close to where I'm going to school.

I love my family (immediate and extended). It takes priority in my life over everything else and nothing is going to take that value away from me. I have a testimony in the importance of families. In tough times when good friends aren't around, members of family will be the best friend.

April 2013 General Conference Highlights

Well, among all the studying going on for classes (and final exams coming up), this weekend was General Conference weekend. I had to multi-task in order to listen... Well, I take that back; I was hardly listening at all while I was getting my homework done so I really can't go off on much. But I managed to attend Priesthood Session at the Ashton, Idaho Stake Center while staying with my relatives over the weekend. I think my all-time highlight came from President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's address. The following words are the things that stood out to me the most:

"Serving God and our fellowmen will challenge us and transform us into something greater than we ever thought possible. Perhaps you might think that you are not needed, that you are overlooked or unwanted, that you are nobody. I am sincerely sorry if any priesthood holder feels this way. Certainly you are not overlooked or unwanted by your Heavenly Father. He loves you. And I tell you with certainty that you are needed by your Church. Do you not know that “God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to [put to shame] the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to [put to shame] the things which are mighty”? Perhaps it is true that we are weak. Perhaps we are not wise or mighty. But when God works through us, no one and nothing can stand against us. This is why you are needed. You have your own special contribution to make, and God can magnify that contribution in a mighty way."

I've certainly felt somewhat useless and even under appreciated from time to time. During my missionary service in the Japan Nagoya Mission, my Mission President emphasized repeatedly with passion on the the subject of gratitude and I suppose his influences have helped me to be a little more grateful for a lot of things taken for granted. There have been many times I've done things for people and even the church and I never got a single "Thank you" out of it. And a simple expression of gratitude can be enough to make a person's day worth while. While attending the Salem, Oregon Young Single Adults (YSA) Branch, I had three callings: Branch Missionary, Sunday School Pianist, and Family Home Evening (FHE) Photographer. 

As a Branch Missionary, I found myself working with the full-time missionaries often and I have certainly enjoyed it. We even had an Elder from Japan serve in our Branch for a few months and I certainly felt blessed (and I'm pretty sure he felt the same way!) to have been able to work and communicate with each other in our native languages. As for my other two callings, I fulfilled them to the best of my abilities.

I'm almost embarrassed to mention this, but my skills as a pianist are limited. There are only a handful of Hymns I can play off the bat; any others I want to learn will take me time and practice, but mostly a lot of time. I absolutely hate it when people in charge of the music ask me to play something I don't know or can't read. I hate it when people expect me to play something because personally, I don't care about "their" expectations; they just don't matter to me in the long run. I mentioned this before, and I'll mention it again: the only expectations that matter the most are one's own aligned with God's will. 

I really had fun serving as the Branch FHE photographer mainly because I got into the hobby of aircraft spotting and aviation photography. A result of this little hobby of mine is posting those photos up on my online aviation photo gallery through social media. My YSA Branch also utilized the social media so at least once a week, I've been able to put up photos of our weekly FHE activities. 

As I said before, I really enjoyed this calling. I will admit however, feeling somewhat under appreciated from time to time for showing up every Monday night to take photos for the sake of memories. As a photographer, I rarely end up being in the photos. I can recall maybe two or three people thanking me directly for my efforts. Regardless of that, I made the effort to be selfless by fulfilling my callings to the best of my abilities.

This is one of many reasons why I believe in this saying: "The church is true. The members are not." And for the most part, I believe in that saying because we're all imperfect. From experiences in the mission field, I have witnessed and heard of this far too many times, especially to fairly new members of the church over there. The things they have to do in order to be baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are of great sacrifices, or more in a country where cultural barriers serve as part of the problem. And I'm most definitely not the perfect member of the church as well. I even get frustrated with a few things about the church. Taking the importance of callings of fellow members for granted is one of them.

Despite my personal frustrations and weaknesses, I want you all to know the importance of having a heart full of gratitude. A simple "Thank you", the two most important words of the English language can make someones day. Even when feelings of under appreciation hits me from time to time, I know I am needed. And you fellow members are needed in the church as well. I encourage you to look for the things you are grateful for often. I also highly encourage you to be grateful for the righteous actions and service of others. Don't just be grateful for them; verbally express your gratitude to them and let them know you're grateful! The two most important words of the English language can make the difference between a good day and bad day. Strive to make someones day with two simple words and help them feel needed. I could have used it on certain days. But President Uchtdorf's words helps in some ways and therefore, became the highlight of my conference weekend.

Familes Can Be Together Forever

Last Thursday evening, I received a text message from my dad informing me that my uncle Paul passed away. He was 63 years old; too young in my opinion by today's standards... I was able to visit him in the hospital the weekend prior to his passing and I am so grateful to have been able to see him one last time. His passing came as somewhat of a surprise to us all. I can't help but reflect and think about him now that he's gone. The news brought me to tears as I tried to accept the fact he really was gone... Thankfully, having family here in the region, not to mention the ones here at school (and my awesome roommates), brought some form of comfort. The viewing and funeral services were carried out this past Monday and Tuesday respectively. Both were just beautiful. There was a slide show compilation depicting the life of my uncle. Again, it brought tears to our eyes.

We as a family were gathered together; I saw cousins who I haven't seen in a couple of years. My aunts and uncles, second cousins, my dad, as well as my grandparents were also in attendance. We cried together. We celebrated his life together. We were there for each other. It was a much needed thing to have so many family members present, as we rendered to each other mutual support during these tough times. It was heart-warming to have all that.

The day of the funeral, the weather was absolutely gorgeous; we couldn't have asked for better weather. The things said about my uncle were just beautiful and spot-on. It was hard to accept the facts of reality. It was hard to say good-bye. It was hard to observe others as they wept. Sadness has been in the air but it would eventually be overcome with hope and a better resolve. It was a time to appreciate the blessings each and every one of us had. The memories we have gained are now a treasure...

Being in this gathering also caused many of us to realize how much we really should appreciate the things we take for granted. Life and death is a natural part of our existence. But still, I found it hard to believe that my uncle was gone. Now, we as a family are all touched by the memories we shared with him. There is a hymn I love and I thought about it as I reflected on how my uncle touched our lives:

Each life that touches ours for good

Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord; 

Thou sendest blessings from above

Thru words and deeds of those who love.

What greater gift thou dost thou bestow,

What greater goodness can we know 

Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways

Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

When such a friend from us departs,

We hold forever in our hearts

A sweet and hallowed memory,

Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

For worthy friends whose lives proclaim

Devotion to the Savior's name, 

Who bless our days with peace and love,

We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.

(Hymn #293 'Each Life That Touches Ours for Good')

I am sad that he is gone now but I know I will see him again someday. Our savior Jesus Christ through His Atonement made it possible for us to return to Him and to reunite with our families. There's another hymn I just love to sing and play on the piano and the promise made in the first verse is comfort enough. I think the lyrics to this hymn is self-explanatory:

I have a family here on earth.

They are so good to me.

I want to share my life with them through all eternity.

Families can be together forever

Through Heavenly Father's plan.

I always want to be with my own family,

And the Lord has shown me how I can.

The Lord has shown me how I can.

(Hymn #300 'Families Can Be Together Forever')

For those of you who are close to your family and relatives, be sure to spend quality time with them. Tell them you love them, no matter how cheesy it may sound. Be grateful for their influence they had on your life. And never, ever forget about the things that they have done for you. Because, one day all of this will become nothing but a cherished memory when they are gone. Don't give yourself any regrets regarding your family.

I want all of you who read this to know that I know God loves each and every one of us and He knows what we are going through. He has set in motion for us a plan of salvation, in which we can return to Him and be with our families again when our mortal journey is complete. He has sent His beloved son Jesus Christ to blaze the trail for us. Without a doubt, I have a testimony that families can be together forever. This knowledge has lessened the sting of death just enough for us to press forward, with faith and hope shining brightly in hearts and minds. The gospel is still true! My testimony of these words and thoughts to you, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Mini-Conference Talk: Your Mission is the Mission for You

The following is a mid-term assignment titled 'Your Mission is the Mission for You'. I wrote this up for my Book of Mormon class at Brigham Young University-Idaho. It is classified as a "Mini-Conference Talk" and it seemed fitting to share it with you on this blog. Graded, it did decently well, though there's room for improvement.

One of my favorite “missionary” figures from The Book of Mormon has to be Ammon, one of the sons of Mosiah. In the seventeenth chapter of Alma, the things Ammon says in these versus serve as a prime example of what a missionary should be like: “And the king inquired of Ammon if it were his desire to dwell in the land among the Lamanites, or among his people. And Ammon said unto him: Yea, I desire to dwell among this people for a time; yea, and perhaps until the day I die. And it came to pass that king Lamoni was much pleased with Ammon, and caused that his bands should be loosed; and he would that Ammon should take one of his daughters to wife. But Ammon said unto him: Nay, but I will be thy servant. Therefore Ammon became a servant to king Lamoni. And it came to pass that he was set among other servants to watch the flocks of Lamoni, according to the custom of the Lamanites.” (Alma 17:22-25)

Of course, missionary work was a lot different back in Ammon’s time than it is now. In today’s Latter-day Saints community, young men set aside two years of their lives (and young women set aside 18 months) to go out and serve wherever they are called as representatives of the church and of the Lord, Jesus Christ. In his opening remarks of the October 2010 General Conference, President Thomas S. Monson said, “I repeat what prophets have long taught – that every worthy, able young man should prepare to serve a mission. Missionary service is a priesthood duty – an obligation the Lord expects of us who have been given so very much. Young men, I admonish you to prepare for service as a missionary.” Though this admonition is directed to the young men, the principle for preparation of a mission equally applies to young women who desire to serve as well.

It’s been nearly a year now since I came home from my mission in Japan. I can’t emphasize enough on how much my mission meant to me. To every young man currently serving or who has served, please know that the mission you were called to serve in was meant specifically for you. Being half-Japanese myself, it was almost no surprise that I got called to serve in Japan; my family and I were all excited and grateful that I had received such an opportunity.

Despite the excitement and opportunities, there were times I felt troubled regarding some of my experiences in additions to all the good ones I had. Japan has become quite a diverse place, with people from many different countries residing there. Within my mission, there is an abundant population of Brazilian citizens living in the more industrial cities. With that being the case there are also many missionaries serving from Brazil as well. Much to my surprise, I ended up serving in some of these areas with a Brazilian Elder as my companion. With so much focus concentrated on Brazilian investigators, I had to do my best in learning another language. Without a doubt, I felt like I was being held back (and somewhat cheated) from utilizing the Japanese language, which I was originally called to speak. The way my mission turned out was unexpected; but then again, that ought to be the case for every missionary who serves. I ended up spending almost half of my mission proselyting in areas with fairly strong Brazilian and other non-Japanese communities. Elder Neil L. Andersen stated, “Missionary service requires sacrifice. There will always be something you leave behind when you respond to the prophet’s call to serve.” I really never expected to set aside the Japanese language at one point while in Japan!

At one point, I expressed my frustrations to my dad via E-mail (and my mission president indirectly in the end.). In response, my dad wrote back assuring me that this all happened through no fault of my own. Him being the wiser, he taught me that in missions and life in general, we are all given assignments and they’re all important and not everybody can do them. We don’t always understand the reasoning behind the assignments we’re given but only I was able to fulfill my given assignments. Sometimes these tasks aren’t “prestigious” or “high-profile” but they are all important and not everyone can fulfill them. My dad taught me to take pride (in a humble way of course!) with the fact that I could fulfill my assignments both in the mission field and in life.

To young men who have yet to serve, I highly encourage you to prepare for a mission. In this modern era, the church has become very accommodating thanks to the sacrifices of many contributing members concerning equalized financial matters. Whether you have yet to serve, currently serving or have served, you should be grateful because this wasn’t the case several decades ago. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland in a conference address referred to his own experience: “When I was called to serve a mission back before the dawn of time, there was no equalization of missionary costs. Each had to bear the full expense of the mission to which he or she was sent. Some missions were very expensive, and as it turned out, mind was one of those.”

Unlike Ammon, missionaries of today will only leave their hearts and spiritual influences behind with the people they served, even until the day they die. Please consider how blessed you are to live in this time and age, for not being required to bear the full expenses. And please consider how grateful you should be for the sacrifices people in your lives have made so you could have the chance to serve. To this day, I am grateful for the opportunity I have had to serve my mission in Japan and for the people who reside there. I am grateful for this restored gospel. I know the Savior lives and He gave his life for us. I am grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I know The Book of Mormon is true, as a testament of Jesus Christ. The gospel is true. I leave my thoughts with you, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Priesthood

This is short but every word of this is worth putting on here.

This past Sunday, I drove up to Ashton to be with  relatives. I drove up with my aunt and grandparents. It was really a special day; not only was it a three-day weekend but my twin cousins also received the Aaronic Priesthood. We arrived in Ashton just in time for the ordination. With my uncle, grandfather, and a few of the ward leaders, we ordained the twins (as I like to refer to them.). To be a part of the process was a tremendous privilege. I couldn't help but marvel at the importance and responsibility of having the Priesthood.

This day was a cause for reflection. Conferring the Aaronic Priesthood to my twin cousins brought back memories when I received the Aaronic Priesthood. In reflection, I still find it hard to believe how far I've come and how many more steps I've still yet to take on...

I certainly have a testimony of the importance of the Priesthood. I'm certainly grateful for it; in addition to being a holder of it, it has also guided me in some of the more trying moments in my life. I certainly encourage church members in need to turn to it and someone who holds it. It will go a long way. And I certainly encourage every young men to use it to prepare for their lives ahead; whether it be a mission, to go to the Temple, or eternal families, the Priesthood is an important part of our lives.

"As Zion's Youth In Latter Days"

It was the second day of classes (Tuesday) for my first semester at Brigham Young University Idaho. Lingering in the back of my mind were thoughts cultivated from fear wondering, "Can I do this?" or "What have I gotten myself into?!" I don't mind admitting I was feeling a little scared and intimidated, not to mention the on-and-off feelings of homesickness... Of course, my mind was buzzing and preoccupied  in struggling to keep my schedule neat and prioritized. Between study time, class, and personal things my schedule seemed like it was on the verge of falling apart... Then it was time for the weekly devotional, which happens to fall on Tuesday on a weekly basis...

At first I was skeptical about going because I had a class I needed to go to AND find since it was the first day for my second batch of classes. In the end, I went. Obviously, the setting was a rather large auditorium with superb acoustics. I sat where I could make a swift exit and a straight shot for class right afterwards. I tried to listen to what was being said but I could barely remember. But what I do remember was the special musical number as well as the closing hymn. Music has always spoken to me in ways I could never fully explain. At closing, we as a congregation sang from the hymn book #256, 'As Zion's Youth in Latter Days'; I have long forgotten how much I love this hymn since it wasn't in the Japanese hymn books I've been used to using for two years on my mission...

As I sang, the words just hit me bringing tears to my eyes:

As Zions' youth in latter days,

We stand with valiant heart,

With promise shining in our eyes, 

Resolved to do our part.

Upon a noble past we build; 

The future fills our view.

We face the challenge of our day

And pledge we will be true.

The truths and values we embrace

Are mocked on ev'ry hand.

Yet as we listen and obey

We know we can withstand

The evils that would weaken us,

The sin that would destroy.

With faith, we hold the iron rod

And find in this our joy.

Thru test and trial we'll have our fears,

But we will not despair.

We're here to serve a righteous cause;

Truth gives us strength to dare.

We'll love, and learn, and overcome;

We'll sing a joyful song,

As Zion's youth in latter days,

Triumphant, pure, and strong.

I realized I can get through this. Though not all of it, some of my confidence was restored on my current circumstances. Fact is, what I pursue will be for the right reasons and the journey will not be easy in some places. But I know that Heavenly Father allows these hardships for a reason and we need to learn from them. I also know Heavenly Father is mindful of me and my hardships and the same goes to you. His love is infinite. His patience is infinite. He sent us to this era in time so we can fulfill certain roles reserved only for us.